Children of God

We decided to tag team this message, because it is about “change.”

A child can mean a young person, or it can mean a son or daughter of any age. Two meanings. In our new church software (Realm), a child is defined strictly as a minor – under the age of 18. And a Realm nuclear family is defined as a household unit – people who live together under one roof.

In Realm we have many member families listed with adult children, most of whom no longer live at home. In the next days, I will be making all adult children over the age of 25, who are listed at the same address as their parents, “inactive” in Realm. If I’ve made a mistake and an adult child is active at Prince of Peace, just have your child contact me and I will re-activate them with their current address, email and phone number.

This hits me close to home! I have two sons who haven’t lived in Ohio since they left for college in 2016. They are now both 28 years old and only come to church on Christmas Eve. I made them inactive. I also have an adult daughter who lives in Dublin and comes to church every week. I left her active but placed her in her own household in Realm, with her address, email and phone.

Our children will always be our children … but in Realm they are now full-fledged adults!

Jocelyn Alford

We also have two adult sons, one quite active in a parish and the other not. Love them both. Duh. We did exactly what Jocelyn describes years ago. There was, and is, some emotional component. But it is good.

First some facts: God loves us all, whether we are members of a church or not, even whether we believe or not. Nothing changes with God, here or eternally, based on our church membership or software status. Which is why Romans 8:38-39 is one of my favorite passages, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Presumably we feel blessed to be part of the community of the Church. It’s meaningful to us. Why else belong? Certainly not to make God love us more! And we want those blessings which we have known for our adult children. And everyone else. We wish it for them in the best way. But, if we are healthily differentiated from our adult children, belonging and participating is their decision and not ours. It’s life. And life can be difficult to navigate, with love, in faith.

This may be an opportunity to share with your adult children. A chance to share that this “software change” is happening and you want them be included as they wish. Let them know God will always love them, and you will, too. Nothing changing there! Maybe ask what their preference is. Maybe share a bit of what keeps you coming back to church despite the church’s issues, but share without trying to persuade. Maybe they will share what’s working or not working for them as adults. Honor them, and they you, not with often loaded parent-child communication, but as adults who are going to love each other through any and all changes. Even this change. 

We’ll be praying for you on this unfolding journey. We’re glad you’re being the church with us.

Pastor Jim Wilson