December 13, 2022
Grief has struck many in our congregation of late. With the passing of loved ones, we are left with a feeling of loss. It is often in times like these that it feels as if grief is taking over our lives.
It is true that grief is challenging. I have heard it said that grief is love that perseveres. When a loved one passes on, we do not stop loving them. Rather, navigating grief is to understand the process of shifting the relationship we have with our deceased loved ones to a new way of being, one that is different from when they were physically present.
Engaging in ceremonial type activities to help our hearts and minds transition to a new way of being can be helpful. Finding ways to honor memories is important. This can be through photos, putting a picture on the mantle or a memorial ornament on the Christmas tree. Going for a quiet walk, baking their favorite cookies, or doing their favorite Christmas activity. Writing down what you are feeling can also be a way to process grief. Or writing a letter to your loved one. I encourage you to do what feels right for you when you feel ready. Each journey through grief is unique to the person grieving and for each person being grieved.
The journey of grief is a road everyone walks in their life. It is one that we cannot fast forward through or escape. But perhaps in honoring the process of grieving, in finding those moments of stillness and emptiness, and not fearing them but to be present in those moments is a way of allowing our emotions to tell us what we need. When we honor what we feel it allows us to move through our experiences. When we grieve a loved one, we are not “moving on” from our life with them. Instead, we are moving through to what we decide the new relationship will look like.
It is true that grief never really goes away. As we move forward in our lives, we grow around our grief. We learn to hold it with us in a special place. We grow and we take those we love with us as we do. As we journey through the season of Advent and anticipate the coming of the Christ child, we can remember that because of his coming and sacrifice for our lives even in death there is life.
I often look to this Bible verse for comfort…I hope it provides comfort for you as well.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Kaley O'Donnell